Ever worked so hard to reach a goal, only to get there and think… wait, this doesn’t feel how I thought it would? That sudden disconnect, that sense that the finish line doesn’t actually deliver the joy or fulfillment you were hoping for, is at the heart of today’s conversation.
In this episode, I dig into why sometimes chasing outcomes can leave us strangely unsatisfied, and how tuning back into your own inner guidance can transform not just what you achieve, but how you experience the journey.
We’ll talk about recognizing which goals really serve you and the messiness and magic of building your self-trust muscle. There’s no formula, but there is a way to reconnect with what matters most to you.
Press play to join me, and let’s talk about making your work (and life) feel a little more like you.
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Transcript
[0:29] Hi there, welcome to a new episode of Inner Impact. Okay, I must admit that in the past few days I was having some, you know, it has been hard to find a common thread to the many topics that came up in the coaching sessions and conversation that I had. And you know that they are usually the starting point for what I bring out here in the podcast to share with you. But then I suddenly saw it. So here we go. Today’s topic is about those times when you are building something or, you know, working hard to achieve some kind of goal or do something. And when you get to the point where the goal is achieved, that something is built or done, it doesn’t feel good. And well, first of all, I’m wondering if it resonates with you. This is something that has happened to me and to many of my clients too in the past.
[1:37] And I think that I have found at least two reasons
[1:44] For this kind of phenomenon, if you want. So the first one is that we tend to focus a lot on the outcome. And the second one is the kind of outcome itself. And I am going to share more about them both, of course, but I also want to hear from you if any other kind of reason come up to you, I’d love to hear that. So let’s talk about the focus on the outcome. So when we, you know, when we have our eyes on the prize, we tend to forget about the journey and the process. And so maybe we try to go at a pace that is not truly aligned with our inner rhythm and pace. And maybe we don’t even notice that we are struggling during the whole process and the journey to get to the outcome. And maybe we push through, you know, neglecting the fact that we are already tired or drained, because we have that prize, that outcome in mind, and we need to get there in a way that we defined.
[3:10] And so there’s some kind of, you know, rigidity around that, that doesn’t even allow ourselves to notice and maybe slow down, or maybe go faster if we would like that. Or in any case, it doesn’t allow us to course correct. And I believe that this kind of rigidity about the outcome and how we want to achieve it
[3:43] is due to the second layer, to the second reason I was mentioning earlier. So the type of outcome and the kind of outcome or the outcome itself, because it can be a problem when that outcome it’s not, you know, truly aligned with ourselves.
[4:06] Sometimes we can set our expectations or success measures or priorities according to some external parameter, right? So maybe it’s something that society taught us is right, or maybe it comes from advice, which can be business advice or professional advice for us, of course, but also any kind of life advice that is out there and feels more relevant than our own inner compass, or maybe it may come from some prominent figure that influenced us in the past or influences us currently, or it may even come from our own selves. Meaning that we are maybe trying to you know fulfill an expectation or some kind of success measure that we had previously set for ourselves maybe in another era or in another context of our lives but now it doesn’t serve us anymore. So I want to bring to you an example to make this the whole thing clearer.
[5:29] And it is an example from one of my clients. So.
[5:36] She was struggling when trying to make a decision because she couldn’t decide how to approach it because she had in mind basically two conflicting ways. And those sounded like two conflicting values. So in the session, we started to explore them. And as soon as she started talking about the second one, she realized that that wasn’t one of her values at all. But it was something that she had internalized because of a person in her life. And so she realized she was hearing that person’s voice, in her head, telling her, you should approach this decision this way. And so she was struggling because in her mind, she also heard her own voice telling her, well, I feel like this is the right way for us to approach this decision, right? But until we started to unpack and explore, she felt like
[6:56] both of them were her voice. So here’s the thing that during our coaching session, she was able to reconnect with her own inner guidance and ground in the, you know, in the trust for herself so she could make aligned decisions and take aligned actions. And this doesn’t mean that all the decisions that you make from a place of alignment or, you know, self-trust need to be perfect or right because perfection just doesn’t exist.
[7:39] You won’t even know until you make the decision and, you know, implement them if they are right, quote unquote, right, or if they worked. But still the decision need to feel as aligned as possible remembering that alignment is a practice and it is a messy one and it is a practice that’s it it is i’m sorry it is a practice that is built upon self-trust and a client reminded me just yesterday that the coaching space that i provide, is a space where you can build, in their words, the muscle of self-trust. Because this, again, is a practice per se, right?
[8:32] And of course, I don’t have a recipe for, you know, embracing completely self-trust without any kind of fear, because I think it doesn’t exist. And even though I had it, it wouldn’t be my place to give it to you, because it would be my recipe for myself. Still, I believe that, you know, listening to your voice, reconnecting with your inner guidance system and be willing to try and use, you know, and ground into your guidance system is a way to nurture your own self-trust.
[9:18] And, you know, this podcast always wanted to be something like that and still wants to be. And that is the exact reason why I give you prompts at the end of every episode because it’s my way to help facilitate a conversation between you and your inner self and, you know, work to build that self-trust muscle. So here are your prompts for today. Okay, so the first one is, do the outcome, the expectations, the success measures or priorities I am working toward serve me, benefit me, my energy, joy, and well-being? And the second prompt is, who defined those outcomes, expectations, success measures, or priorities? And the last one is, what’s one thing I can do this week to quiet the noise, reconnect with my inner guidance system, and nurture my own self-trust?
[10:36] Thank you so much for being with me today. I’d love to hear from you. As always, you can find my email in the show notes and also the SpeakPipe link so you can send me a voice note. I always love to hear from you. So tap on one of those links and let me know what’s coming up for you. Thanks again. Talk soon.